Butter(ball and nativity!)

Tis the season to be jolly and apparently have very high cholesterol!
So I was preparing Thanksgiving dinner for my family and was in charge of making the turkey. Turkey choices are a lot more difficult then one would first think...almost as hard as when CJ had to decide which turkey the President was going to pardon on the West Wing. So I'm standing over the open freezer full of turkeys in the grocery store and I make my first decision: get a turkey breast. Thanksgiving was only going to be four of us (me, mom, dad, and Hannah) so there was no need for a HUGE Thanksgiving turkey. Second decision - how many pounds? So I go with 5 and 1/2. It seemed like a pretty good number for people that can pack away some food (especially since my sister is eating for two right now!). And finally, was I going to go with the Butterball or the Publix brand? I had no clue! Was there a big difference in the Butterball turkey? Did one cook better than the other? How about leftovers - did one survive longer? My mind was spinning and I had no idea which decision to make! The women around me also didn't really help out too much - it was another woman's first year making a turkey and the other woman was looking for a free range. So I went with my West Wing instincts again, remembering that there was a Butterball hotline on Thanksgiving day. I grabbed my Butterball turkey breasts with all hopes that the Butterball hotline could help me with any potential problem that I had.
Thanksgiving day comes and my mom made me so nervous about making the turkey that I get up at 9am to put it in the oven. It was nice and juicy when I took it out of the container and fortunately my friends (Beth and Dana from downstairs) had warned me to remove it from the wrapper over the sink. Otherwise all of the nastiness could have gotten on me. Lo and behold - the turkey is done and it looks beautiful! Although - GASP! - it is four hours ahead of time. My mom calls to ask how everything is going and I tell her of the quandry and she tells me to call the Butterball hotline that I had so hoped to call in order to receive some information. Here is the recording of my conversation with the Butterball hotline...
Lots of numbers to press to get to the right operator...
Butterball: All of our representatives are busy right now helping other callers. Your turkey domestic helper will be with you in 5 minutes.
(Elevator music)
Butterball: This is the Butterball hotline. How may I help you?
me: Hi! My name is Sara Pugh and I am making my first turkey today. It is done now but my parents won't be here for about 4 more hours.
Butterball: Well Sara, we usually suggest that all of our clients finish the turkey no earlier than an hour prior to eating it.
me: Well yes that would have been nice but it is done now and I just want to make sure that it doesn't get dry.
Butterball: We suggest that you wrap up your turkey in aluminum foil, place towels around it, and place it into a cooler without any ice to lock in the heat. It can stay like that for 3-4 hours without losing any of the juicy flavor.
me: Thank you very much and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Butterball saved my turkey and it saved my Thanksgiving! According to my family (I don't really like to eat turkey), the turkey was still nice and juicy with plenty of heat left in it (although some of this can be attributed to the microwave). So whenever you have a turkey problem, don't hesisitate and call the Butterball hotline and they'll help you in a jiff!

In other news - when I went out to dinner on Friday night, there was a butter nativity scene at the front of the resturant. All of us seminary students got a big kick out of that one! Tis the season and enjoy yourself!