Hi. My name is Sara. I'm addicted to silence.
During this lenten season as part of our discipline, some friends and I sat together in silence every Monday, meditating, reading, drawing, writing, watching a candle. We sat in a room, blocking out all of the noises of life, all of the distractions, and all of the voices calling us in different directions. Each time we left, I felt bombarded by the constant clatter of life - the traffic, conversations, horn honking. Silence left me renewed and the instant noise stripped that away from me.
It's amazing how much more aware you are of the world around you when you are in silence. Last year when I was taking sign language classes, I learned about how a person who is deaf has stronger senses than we do because they have to rely upon them more fully. I believe it now. Maundy Thursday I watched in silence as the sanctuary was stripped of all that represented the life of Jesus. Silence heightened the activity as every member scurried about to prepare the sanctuary and their souls for what was about to happen. We had washed each other's feet, taken communion and now it was time for us to sit in silence and hold the tension within our hearts, hold the pain and suffering, and the sadness that comes with Maundy Thursday.
Yesterday, Dana and I went to hear Bishop Peter Storey preach at a church in Decatur. Throughout his sermon, Bishop Storey reflected upon suffering and peace - how to live with both within your life. At one point he said, "Maybe we make loud noises to block out the fear." Words of wisdom from a wise man. Silence makes us listen to that still, small voice and find what is at the root of our sadness, pain, fear, joy, excitement, and hope. Within silence it is hard to cover anything up, because no distractions keep us from listening. While we can still reject listening to the voice, it is within the silence that we listen best.
What are my fears? What are ways that I can respond to those? What am I doing to block those out of my life? Once I recognize them, what can I do about them?
My silent search continues.
